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When did I become my mother?

Today I had a true mindful moment that took my breath away. You all know I’ve been re-creating moms recipes and been doing pretty good. Of course some recipes I’ve had to try five times before getting it right but finally did.

Some of these recipes are loved by all and I have to make a lot to ensure everyone gets their share. So when Serafino asked me to make Squaratella, I didn’t realize how little a batch made. Literally Gianni and I could eat a batch in two days. My poor stand mixer was working overtime. But not only that it takes time to prep in between batches. So lucky my brother didn’t sell moms monster mixer. Last weekend my youngest nephew brought it to me and Gianni spent a day putting it on a movable base as well as hook up power. Today I got to make six batches of Squaratella at once. It took me five hours to get them all done, but once done I looked at the outcome and started to cry. This is what mom used to make for all of us. She put her sweat and love into all she made and we didn‘t realize how long it actually took her to make it. She would make ten batches at a time, so I’m sure she was at it for eight hours.

How I miss her making all the amazing food for us. It was time she had and I didn‘t. But now I’m finding the time to make everything for everyone. Hoping to make the favourites of each. I’m putting the love that mom used to and truly it has become my passion. I’ve taken over where mom left off, only difference is I’m having to figure it out on my own. Something that my kids, nephews and grandkids won’t have to do as I’m posting all the recipes for them.

Steven asked if I would make nonna’s bread. Today I found she has three different recipes for bread. No idea which one is right. Plus it’s for ten pounds of flour where I only wanted to make a tiny batch. So I guessed. It didn‘t turn out quite like moms but it is pretty good. We will see how it tastes tomorrow.

As I reflected on my mother and how much I missed her cooking and not being here to help me make everything, I realized I have become my mother. Making big batches of everything for the freezer and to share with the family. Seeing their joy when they eat it and say, that is just like mom/nonna used to make it means I’ve arrived and truly am my mother. Couldn’t be more proud to have had such an amazing role model. 💙

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